So, I had to watch Disney princess songs with my lil cousin. One song was just a montage of all of ‘em, or all of ‘em up to the point it was produced. It was markedly clear that Ariel was her favorite (or her favorite at that particular second) and she has just gotten into Snow and the Dwarves, which is kinda cool, but when the montage got to my favorite, I tried to influence her thinking a little. Then I wrote this down.
You Don’t Wanna be Ariel
Kiddo,
I know you’re way too young
For critical analysis
But what does Ariel do?
She gives up
the best things
she has
beautiful voice
cool little underwater buddies
calypso musical numbers
for some
dumb
sailor
Be like Mulan
she picks up a sword
honors her ancestors
and gets a good looking guy
with a good f’in job
to notice
and subsequently
love her
for her courage
toughness and skill
“I wanna be Sleeping Beauty!”
sigh
I’ll explain this when you’re a lil older
By Danny Wayne Cotton (Monday, April 25, 2011 at 2:15am)