Commonwealth, Part 1
By Danny Wayne Cotton
INT. POOL HALL
CHARLIE, mid to late 30s, the Campaign Manager, in the vest and pants of a 3 PIECE POPLIN SUIT, LOOSENED TIE, CUFFLINKS He walks over to the bar, a young man in SHIRTSLEEVES, LOOSENED TIE, SPIKEY HAIR is drinking, not noticing him
CHARLIE
Wild Turkey, rocks
(to the young man)
You Fascist prick
The young man, RICK, looks up
RICK
You commie bastard
There’s a tense beat, the two smile
CHARLIE
Working for the Alzheimer’s patient?
RICK
You’re down here for Harvey Dent
CHARLIE
Shit, just like a Republican. I coined that nickname you know.
RICK
Starting the Facebook group doesn’t mean you were the first to make the joke.
CHARLIE
(getting a cue)
Nine ball, loser buys the next round?
RICK
(coins up the table)
Lfai rack.
He racks quickly, rolls CUEBALL to a CHALKING Charlie Fierce break PASSAGE OF TIME: Shown through a few empty glasses, the guys have now loosened their ties, the rack is opened up, Charlie is shooting
RICK
I would've thought you’d be running for state rep by now
CHARLIE
(sizing up)
Naw, that’s too hard to do from Lexington and back home
(beat, shoots, makes it)
Gotta wait for too many people to die or retire.
RICK
Still, Joey doesn’t have any name recognition, he’s young, he barely got out of the primaries--
CHARLIE
But he got out, didn’t he?
RICK
Alright, but we’ve got the old man
CHARLIE
(pauses from shooting, chuckles)
The old man barely knows where he is half the time and your bosses are too old for the game. Besides, I know Fancy Farm better than any of ‘em and more importantly
(beat, shoots, makes it)
I know facebook.
RICK
Don't get too confident, the old man’s got me.
CHARLIE
Answering to other old men. The Grand Old Party sure likes to emphasize OLD. Joey’s gonna bury you tomorrow
RICK
We'll just have to see
Charlie shoots combo ORANGE FIVE, cuts NINE BALL which sinks
CHARLIE
Then we’re gonna bury you in November.
CONTINUED : 3%
RICK
(paying up)
You always were a cocky son of a bitch pinko
CHARLIE
And you hate me for it
(beat)
because I aint YOUR son of a bitch.
RICK
I’m our son of a bitch
CHARLIE
Don’t I know it.
RICK
One more game?
Charlie contemplates this, looks down at his watch
CHARLIE
Naw, I gotta head over to tonight’s fundraiser. Teacher with a rich husband.
RICK
Alright, tell Jake I said hi
(beat)
And tell all your buddies we’1ll make ‘em look like amateurs tomorrow
CHARLIE
You just keep thinking that.
INT. HOTEL BATHROOM- NEXT MORNING
Charlie turns on his MP3 player, FAST, DRIVING SOUTHERN ROCK He Visines his eyes Pops open Ale81 or Mountain Dew, downs LE Showers Takes ULCER MEDICINE (Prilosec forty) Combs hair Spits out toothpaste Looks himself over in the mirror, smiles
CHARLIE
Showtime
INT. "DEMOCRAT BREAKFAST"
Lots of people with POLITICAL BUTTONS, T-SHIRTS, EPHEMERA milling around, eating SOUTHERN BREAKFAST MUSIC continues POLITICIANS, including JOE, "Harvey Dent," Charlie's age, sit up front OLD DEMOCRAT speaking passionately to the crowd (Note: I imagine the old man as Joe B. Hall, but that'd be lost on the whole rest of the country)
OLD DEMOCRAT
And now we got us a good young Democrat in the White House, but we need us a good young Democrat to replace these crooked so and so’s in the STATE house.
EXT. FANCY FARM
This is the largest picnic in America, and it looks it MUSIC continues Families mill around, a BLUEGRASS BAND picks on the stage, unceasing BINGO GAME JOE, in "politician uniform" of BLUE DRESS SHIRT (sleeves up), KHAKIS walks with ANNE, his wife Close by, on a CELL is JAKE, The Press Secretary, also Charlie and Joe’s age Charlie, in SEERSUCKER PANTS, NICE SHIRT, TIE hands various things out to STAFFERS in MATCHING T-SHIRTS STAFFER, talking to FAMILY in the crowd, hands MOM a PAPER FAN and KIDS STICKERS Joe & Co. approach Charlie
CHARLIE
Ready to get some q?
Charlie, Joe, Anne & Jake in the mile long line to get into the DINING HALL as MUSIC FADES
JOE
(to Charlie)
Anything to remember?
CHARLIE
It’s unsweet tea or water, that’s it, don’t look like a dink and ask for anything else. Pork’s good, but real men eat mutton with it. Sit at a friendly table.
JAKE
And pie, don’t forget pie
ANNE
Before the end of this, he’ll be ten pounds heavier
INT. DINING HALL
Borderline food porn as we see the buffet. Fresh, homegrown VEGGIES, followed by homemade SIDES, FRIED CHICKEN, PORK & MUTTON BBO All of them sit at a table, eating, Jake very enthusiastically With them is CHRIS, late 30s pretty boy, Joe’s running mate , CHRIS’ WIFE, and ROY, elder statesman
ROY
(to Joe)
So, man of the hour, how you like your first Fancy Farm?
JOE
It’s something.
ROY
Awful different from running for Commonwealth’s attorney, aint it?
CHARLIE
They don’t know how to barbecue in Lexington.
ROY
Well, you ready?
Roy laughs Jake,
now
JOE
I think I am, I mean
(whispered, to Roy)
It's Fielder for Christ’s sake.
CHRIS
You should see it, we’re gonna have--
CHARLIE
We’re gonna have a crowd pleaser. Right Jake? on his second piece of pie, looks up
JAKE
Huh?
CHARLIE
The crowd pleasin’, we’re gonna do that, right?
JAKE
Oh, shit, yeah, we better get ready.
ROY
(laughing)
Lose track of time?
CHARLIE
Pie makes you do that, we need to get those college kids ready?
JAKE
Yeah
CHARLIE
Well, we’ll say adieu to y’all and prepare our top secret crowd pleasin’ piece of political theater and let y’all statesmen take your seats.
JOE
This better work.
CHARLIE
It will.
Charlie and Jake get up, leave
ROY
Costumes?
JOE
(a little embarrassed)
Yeah
ROY
(grins wide)
Always a winner.
EXT. THE DEMOCRAT TRAILER
KIM, head
of the organizing staff, is outside
Charlie and Jake approach, Charlie smoking
KIM
Took you guys a while
JAKE
I was having pie
CHARLIE
How we doing?
KIM
The Joker and Voldemort are here
CHARLIE
Coming along?
KIM
Not much to Voldemort, I puta staffer on the Joker
CHARLIE
(to both Kim and Jake)
Ledger Joker?
JAKE
It was the easiest costume to find
CHARLIE
Ok, you two go inside, I’1ll be on guard duty. Who am I expecting?
KIM
President, UK Dems, he shaved his head and kid from Murray, longish hair.
CHARLIE
Lex and Lord Vader
(beat, looks over at Jake)
If the kid doesn’t show up you’re sweating in the Vader costume.
Kim and Jake go inside the trailer, Charlie lights another cigarette, sips from BOTTLE OF WATER outside Kid who will clearly be LUTHOR approaches
LUTHOR
Hi, I’m Rich Stevens
CHARLIE
UK dems?
LUTHOR
Yes sir.
CHARLIE
(shaking hands)
Charlie Nicholson, campaign manager, go inside, get Luthor’d up.
LUTHOR
(grins)
Yes sir.
EXT. FANCY FARM STAGE
There's starting to be a crowd under the canopy Joe and the other DEM POLS & SPOUSES take their seats stage left, highest office to lowest from the podium, putting Joe closest Joe shakes some hands, says some hellos On other side DAVID FIELDER the septuagenarian opponent sits closest to the podium, with other REPUB POLS & SPOUSES On the far stage left are JOURNALISTS, far stage right BLUEGRASS BAND
ROY
(shaking hands with Joe)
Knock ‘em dead, kiddo
CONTINUED: 9.3
JOE
(smiles)
E* LL. EHY
(quietly, to Anne)
Where are they?
ANNE
Don’t worry, Charlie’s on top of things
JOE
Let's hope.
EXT. DEMOCRAT TRAILER
The door opens to reveal DARTH VADER who, like the other villains, wears a "FIELDER CAMPAIGN BUTTON"
CHARLIE
You're ok in that suit? Kim, water
(hands WATER BOTTLE to Vader)
Don’t die on us, ok, it’s nine thousand degrees and you’re in that, the KDP won’t forget it.
VOLDEMORT exits the trailer
CHARLIE
The Harry Potter one, I aint never seen it, so I don’t know if the costume’s good or bad
VOLDEMORT
It’s good
CHARLIE
Good to know. Kim, water
(hands WATER BOTTLE to Voldemort)
So you don’t sweat in the robe. Cast a spell on Fielder.
SUPERFRIENDS-ERA LEX LUTHOR exits trailer
CHARLIE
The bane of the man of steel. The KDP owes you for the commitment
LUTHOR
What’s hair for a better Kentucky?
CHARLIE
I like this kid. Kim, water.
As he’s handing the WATER BOTTLE to Luthor, JOKER exits
CHARLIE
Pat him down for pencils
(laughs, shakes his head)
Damn, that’s a pretty good likeness.
JOKER
Wanna know how I got my scars?
CHARLIE
If anybody asks, Fielder’s healthcare plan. Kim, get ‘em seated. Jake, you're telling Bobby about this?
JAKE
(texting)
As we speak
CHARLIE
Good, good, I’m gonna check in with some of the staff I’1ll be up there in a minute
EXT. FANCY FARM STAGE
This is the height of political theater, a crowd that can cheer or boo candidates waving signs, bombastic stump speeches, CEILING FANS running slowly over the pavilion, a relic of the old south The Villains sit in the front row There are Repubs dressed as ABE LINCOLN, CRUDE TWO-FACE amongst the crowd The HILLBILLY POLITICIAN MC speaking to the crowd
HILLBILLY MC
And if any of y’all decide to get out of hand I have this here
(waves FLYSWATTER)
To restore order. Now I’d like to say that I’ve brought a little of Eastern Kentucky here to West Kentucky. Back home, in Harlan County, when they're speaking on
(MORE)
CONTINUED : pl
HILLBILLY MC (cont’d) the courthouse steps and they go over time we hear...
The BLUEGRASS BAND plays
HILLBILLY MC
A new tradition here at Fancy Farm courtesy of your friends over in the Eastern Coalfields. Now, speakers, if you do go over six minutes, that band’1ll tune up and go to town. So, speakers, we flipped a coin and Governor Fielder won the toss, so he’ll speak first. But I would like to say one last thing...
HECKLER
Start playin’
HILLBILLY MC
I’ve always been proud to represent Harlan County in the State Senate and I’m proud to represent them here today at the hundred and thirty fifth Fancy Farm picnic.
(NOTE: His number will reflect the year of a Governor’s election, for current purposes, 135 would be the race after the next Gubernatorial election. So, in theory, this is set in 2015) INTERCUT- SPEECH
EXT. BACK OF THE CROWD
BOBBY, liberal blogger, little younger than Charlie, holds a BBQ SANDWICH and SUN DROP talking to Charlie Then we see Joe’s opponent giving his speech
FIELDER
And, the, uh
(the heckling is merciless, and distracting him)
this young tax and spend liberal democrat thinks the policies of Brock O-BAA-mer
His side is quiet, the other is booing and heckling loudly
CHARLIE
Aint going to well for him, is it?
BOBBY
You kidding?
(cups hands to yell)
You suck, Fielder!
CHARLIE
(eyeing Bobby)
Creative, Bob
Fielder is struggling
FIELDER
And, instead of this inexperienced, liberal lawyer, we, we Kentuckians, good Kentuckians and patriotic, patriotic Americans need, we need to bring a--
BLUEGRASS BAND starts playing, he’s run out of time before he could finish his speech Bobby holds his BBQ SANDWICH in astonishment
CHARLIE
Did he finish his speech? The old sumbitch couldn’t finish his speech.
BOBBY
Man the bar is low for you guys
CHARLIE
Joe’s gonna knock it out of the park.
Joe steps to the podium, gathers himself, smiles, waves, and starts his speech
JOE
My fellow Kentuckians...
BOBBY
When’s this get fun Charlie?
CHARLIE
(grins wide)
You wait.
CONTINUED: £3
JOE
He's answering to his overlords in Washington, and let me tell you
(chuckles)
They’re some dangerous fellas
Darth Vader stands up, jokingly menaces the crowd
BOBBY
Dude, this is fucking epic
CHARLIE
I told you I knew Fancy Farm
JOE
He says he has budget wizards. Well his wizards have done some black magic in Frankfort
Voldemort stands up and waves his wand, looks goofy
JOE
Because we all know he wants to give Kentucky over to rich special interests, he’s ransoming our Commonwealth to the kind of men that prey on regular hard working people
Lex Luthor gets up and looks evil
BOBBY
(rolling laughing)
Dude, where did you find that costume?
JOE
But if he thinks Kentuckians are going to fall for the same old dirty tricks, the same old good old boy policies, and the same old GOP garbage then he must be...
Joker stands up theatrically, poses for the crowd
JOE
Some kind of Joker.
BOBBY
That was great man
Charlie is using his CELL as a stopwatch
CHARLIE
It was, but I hope he can get all his last paragraph policy stuff in.
BOBBY
He’s on track to.
JOE
...An investment in higher education...
Charlie’s stopwatch, 5:35
JOE
...And in closing...
Charlie’s stopwatch 5:40
JOE
...f£0r our future, for our children’s future and for the Commonwealth of Kentucky...
Charlie’s stopwatch 5:58
JOE
Thank you.
Immediately after he finishes the band starts playing, but it intensifies cheers on the Democratic side of the crowd. Joe is able to wave to some people, give a thumbs up Joe goes back to his seat Roy is sitting behind him and leans over to say something in his ear
ROY
Helluva job, kid
CHARLIE
(lights cigarette)
Did we do it or did we do it?
Bobby has to give a shrug of acknowledgment
INT. HOTEL ROOM- THAT NIGHT
Charlie, Jake, Joe and Anne all have DRINKS Jake is on his LAPTOP
JAKE
CJ says "though he’s polling behind, Lexington Commonwealth Attorney Joe Lavassaney has shown that he can"--
CHARLIE
Give a hell of a speech
Charlie toasts Joe
ANNE
They really loved you Joe
JOE
(modest)
It didn’t hurt that Fielder couldn’t finish his speech.
CHARLIE
Bullshit, even if he hadn’t dottered through it like an old fool we’d’ve brought the house down. I mean the crowd was tipped in our direction...
JAKE
Bobby posted something.
JOE
Oh god, what was it?
JAKE
You've evidently showed the good old boys out in the sticks that you’re as tough as any candidate in recent memory
CHARLIE
See, even Bobby knows to only be MARGINALLY offensive. But, while Kim and the staff get to rest back home tomorrow, you know what we’ve got do.
ANNE
Tomorrow? What’s tomorrow
JOE
Black church, right?
CHARLIE
In Daviess County, then quick debrief at the office.
JAKE
Then?
CHARLIE
Then we rest
(beat)
For a night. Now,
(pouring another drink)
Let’s take a little time to celebrate a job well done.
JAKE
(waving empty glass)
Hear hear
INT. HEADQUARTERS, CHARLIE’S OFFICE- NEXT DAY,
EVENING
Charlie’s office has MAPS, CAMPAIGN EPHEMERA, SMALL PICTURE OF RAHM EMANUEL behind his desk, LIBERAL BUMPER STICKERS decorate the front of his desk Joe sits across from Charlie, who is typing on his laptop
CHARLIE
Given that neither your white nor Persian halves have any rhythm and you've never been one to get moved by the holy spirit
JOE
Alright, alright
CHARLIE
You’ re worrying too much, you did well, the old church ladies liked you
JOE
I guess you’re right
CHARLIE
Go home, see the wifey, ride out the Fancy Farm high. Tomorrow, go
back to putting bad guys in jail,
trust me and Jake.
JOE
You and Jake closing up?
CHARLIE
Yeah
They stand, Charlie casually salutes Joe Joe exits
a Ey
Charlie gets up, goes over to SMALL MIRROR, tightens his tie, straightens up his hair a little Charlie grimaces, rubs stomach, takes PILL BOTTLE from his pocket, pops two Jake enters
JAKE
Hey
CHARLIE
Hey
JAKE
Wanna hit McCarthy’s, have a drink?
CHARLIE
Not tonight man, got plans.
(grins)
Lindsay Moore
JAKE
The?
Charlie nods
JAKE
Lucky son of a bitch. All I’ve been able to get lately is from xtube
CHARLIE
I thought you were running game on what’s her face, uh, Leann
JAKE
Charlie, she’s a reporter
CHARLIE
And?
JAKE
I’m the press secretary
CHARLIE
Aint ethics a bitch?
JAKE
We can’t all hook up with heiresses. Think you could get a contribution from her mom, maybe an endorsement?
CHARLIE
(chuckles)
TPL tary
EXT. SWANK DOWNTOWN BAR- THAT NIGHT, AROUND DUSK
LINDSAY, a knockout, look screams "rich girl," sits at one of the sidewalk tables, she pulls a CIGARETTE HAND, with visible CUFF LINKS from PERSON OFFSCREEN extends, flicks a ZIPPO lights her cigarette She looks up, it’s Charlie Charlie sits down
LINDSAY
How'd your political thing go?
CHARLIE
Firstly, it’s more than just a "political thing," it’s a grand Kentucky tradition...
Lindsay rolls her eyes
CHARLIE
And it went well.
LINDSAY
I saw in the paper that you’re ahead in Lexington.
CHARLIE
Right now, that’s the only place we're ahead
WAITRESS approaches
CHARLIE
Turkey on the rocks
LINDSAY
Another Woodford and Diet
CHARLIE
(incredulous)
You know you aren’t supposed to mix the good stuff with coke, right?
LINDSAY
Shut up
CHARLIE
Just saying, you’re ruining good whiskey.
TIME PASSES- It’s dark, the tables are more crowded, noisier Charlie finishes a drink, another EMPTY glass sits beside it, he flicks a CIGARETTE towards the curb Lindsay's She hangs
CELL rings, she looks down at it
LINDSAY
I have to take this.
CHARLIE
("it’s alright" gesture)
I know the feeling
LINDSAY
Lindsay Moore. No, he’s an architect. I think you’1ll like him. Talk about wine, you know wine. No, he's kind of vanilla. up
CHARLIE
Playing matchmaker?
LINDSAY
(shrugs)
Setting up two friends
(beat)
I can get the check.
CHARLIE
You got it last time, I can get it.
LINDSAY
I know working in politics you don’ t--
CHARLIE
I make enough to pick up the tab, I got it.
LINDSAY
Then what?
CHARLIE
(a little hesitant)
My place?
LINDSAY
Your place clean?
CHARLIE
Well, I aint been there for four days, so yeah.
LINDSAY
(laughs)
Fair enough
Charlie, up til now unshakable and cool, looks a little over his head, unsure what to do, he winks at Lindsay
INT. CAR- A LITTLE AFTER SUNRISE
Jake drives, Charlie passenger seat, Joe in back, Jake and Joe have COFFEE, Charlie has SAME TYPE OF POP AS EARLIER
JOE
So what’s first this weekend?
CHARLIE
This diner, it hops on Saturday morning, evidently. Proprietor is friendly people.
JOE
Diner in Hazard, great way to spend a Saturday.
CHARLIE
Yeah, yeah, what do we say at the diner?
CONTINUED : Ds
JOE
The coal severance tax needs to help fund sustainable--
CHARLIE
Drop sustainable, sounds green and wonky and environmentalistly
JOE
What about "good" economic development in the region?
CHARLIE
That works, now do your dancing
JAKE
(enthused)
Let’s hear the tap dancing
CHARLIE
You do it so well dear Joey
JOE
(rote)
I don’t believe that right now we can talk about ending mountaintop removal mining, but we need to insure that extraction and reclamation are done responsibly. The Coal industry is still an important part of Kentucky’s energy economy.
JAKE
He shouldn’t even say that much tonight.
CHARLIE
No shit, he’s in a Dino crowd that didn’t vote for him.
JOE
(rolls eyes)
That’1l1 be fun.
CHARLIE
You’re damn right it will be, because you understand what?
JOE
In many ways Appalachia is the heart of Kentucky and too often we ignore what makes it such a
(MORE)
JOE (cont'd) beautiful place to live and it’s undying sense of community.
CHARLIE
And your opinion on the most important issue of the day.
JAKE
He hasn’t gotten this one right yet.
JOE
(slightly peeved)
What’s his name? Buffin
CHARLIE
(surprised)
Bingo, man, remembered Opie’s name
JOE
Buffin should get more playing time in big games because he’s proven he’s the team’s best shooter from behind the arc. And I’m glad LeDoux chose UK over LSU.
CHARLIE
(grins)
He’s been studying, didn’t see that last bit coming.
INT. DINER- SAME MORNING
Jake and Charlie sit at a booth, Joe is standing talking to OLD PEOPLE at a table A waitress comes over to Jake and Charlie
CHARLIE
(amicably, smiling)
Biscuits and gravy and a Mountain Dew, thanks
We see Charlie watching Joe talk to the Old People
JOE
Frankly, I don’t think we can just count on... 23:
INT. HIGH SCHOOL GYM, A RALLY- LATER THAT DAY
Joe speaks to the crowd, Charlie on stage behind him
JOE
...the same empty promises from the General Assembly or Governor Fielder...
INT. "CHAMBER OF COMMERCE" FUNDRAISER- THAT NIGHT
Joe, Charlie and Jake are now in their suits Joe stands at the podium
JOE
...who only seem to care about their bases in Western and Central Kentucky, but I can assure you, I want what’s best...
BACK OF THE HOUSE Charlie stands, listening to the speech
JOE (0O.S.)
...for all of the Commonwealth.
There’s some applause, Charlie claps lightly, grimaces, grabs ULCER PILLS, pops them KEITH, an older "Good Ole Boy" type approaches
KEITH
You poppin’ pills city boy?
Charlie washes back the pills with BOTTLE WATER
CHARLIE
(holding up pill bottle)
Yeah, Prilosec 40s
(beat)
And I’m from Anderson County
KEITH
Hell, I’s just teasing Charlie
Charlie gives an "I know" wave
KEITH
You wanted to talk to me?
CHARLIE
Yeah, listen, Keith, I know y'all got ways of
(measured, choosing his words)
Insuring the outcomes of elections.
KEITH
I can promise this county if you need me to.
CHARLIE
No, see, that’s just it. This AG race, well, we don’t know which a way it’s gonna go. If that little Republican gets it...
KEITH
You're afraid he’ll sniff around.
CHARLIE
Right, so don’t give him anything to sniff at
Keith looks at him with a mixture of understanding and feigned offense
CHARLIE
Listen, if you’ve gotta cast old Clem Stumpfucker’s vote for him, because Clem don’t come into town--fine. He won’t answer no damn AG’s questions. But don’t do anything too big.
KEITH
You know the Republicans--
CHARLIE
I do, Keith, I do. But the biggest thing going for Joe is that he’s clean. Whistle clean and I don’t want to do anything, anything on earth, that’d compromise that.
KEITH
Understood.
CHARLIE
Shit, it’s all I can do to keep Chris up there...
CONTINUED : 25% He points to the stage where Joe’s running mate is shaking hands
CHARLIE
...From waving his tallywhacker at some nymphet volunteer
KEITH
(laughs)
Well, I’1l1 do my part
CHARLIE
And be extra careful how you campaign
KEITH
Why’s that?
CHARLIE
They got this little prick, Ricky Daniels, to look at him you’d just think he was some Yankee Catholic schoolboy
KEITH
(grins)
Yeah?
CHARLIE
Yeah, and that’s why he’s dangerous.
KEITH
Understood
CHARLIE
(extends his hand)
Still guarantee this county?
KEITH
(shaking)
Shit yeah
CHARLIE
No drama, keep them usual scandals as far from us as possible
INT. THE CAR- THAT NIGHT, DRIVING BACK
JOE
Think that went well?
CHARLIE
It went well, you looked tough, E. KY needs to see tough.
JOE
I hate having to talk to those damn chamber of fucking commerce
(adopts exaggerated accent)
Aint Lexington full of queers? D’you like to hunt? Coal, coal, coal is good. Hey coal , coalcoalcoal
CHARLIE
(calming Joe down)
Well, just how many liberal progressive city boys has Perry county elected recently?
JOE
(resigned nod)
Yeah
CHARLIE
And you also got some face time with...
JOE
(rote)
Our Commonwealth’s real families and people
Charlie winks in the rearview
JAKE
Checked the numbers earlier
CHARLIE
And they are?
JAKE
Polling at forty two now, statewide. Broke fifty in Jefferson county, gaining in the Purchase
CHARLIE
Told you everybody ignores the Purchase.
CONTINUED: ZT
JOE
Where’s Fielder statewide?
JAKE
Fifty two
JOE
But there’s that margin of error
CHARLIE
Quit being negative
JOE
I’m being realistic
CHARLIE
Realistically we got a shot, ask Kim
JAKE
I never thought we’d get out of the primaries.
CHARLIE
We wouldn’t have if we didn’t have the only candidate who could keep his pecker in his pants
JOE
Counting my running mate
CHARLIE
Hear hear, Kim’s babysitting as we speak.
JAKE
And Grady, he got that flagrant non-payment charge
CHARLIE
A consequence of not keeping your pecker in your pants
A bearable silence as the three ride on
JOE
What was it, five years ago?
CHARLIE
That what?
JOE
You started that stupid Facebook group
CHARLIE
"Back tattoos: You see a butterfly, I see a bullseye?"
JOE
(rolls his eyes)
"I believe in Harvey Dent"
JAKE
Aren't conservatives using that joke now?
JOE
Thanks Charlie
CHARLIE
Hey, Harvey, we won didn’t we?
JOE
We did
CHARLIE
Come on Jake, hammer it, I got a date.
JOE
You're still seeing her?
Charlie bristles the way guys do when their not in something they would call a "relationship," and it comes up He rolls down the window and lights a cigarette
JOE
Charlie, Are you still seeing the only daughter of the richest people in Lexington?
CHARLIE
Just, man, I’m her date for some horse trash function.
JAKE
"Horse trash function?"
JOE
(to Charlie, as if to a child)
What’d we say about that term?
CHARLIE
(feigning indignance)
It’s true
(he gives in)
I’1l only use it around you guys
JOE
Keep it that way. Anything else?
JAKE
First debate is?
JOE
Next week
CHARLIE
Yee-haw.
EXT. BIG HORSE FARM- NIGHT
LARGE "EVENT TENT", next to OPULENT HORSE BARN and GUEST HOUSE, hosts a ritzy party Lindsay stands outside, at TALL TABLE smoking, talking on CELL BG, Imposing, Middle aged FLATTOP is also outside
LINDSAY
If he wants to take you out, let him. I mean, hey, his money, right? Ok, well call me if anything comes up.
She hangs up Charlie, now in NICE SUIT, holding a BOURBON, enters, places an arm around her waist, surprises her
LINDSAY
Hey there
CHARLIE
(haggard)
Hey
He begins fishing for his cigs, takes one, Lindsay offers him a light, he takes a long draw
LINDSAY
I thought I’d lost you
CHARLIE
Turns out that young contractor you introduced me to was the rainmaker for a rather large firm
LINDSAY
Mm-hm
CHARLIE
And he wanted to talk about some much needed road projects
(rolls eyes)
At great length
LINDSAY
And you?
CHARLIE
I’m willing to let him bid on it like everybody else
LINDSAY
But you didn’t turn down a donation to Citizens for Joe Lavassaney?
CHARLIE
(shrugs, grins)
Baby, why do you invite me to stuff like this? You gotta know guys who enjoy it more than I do.
LINDSAY
Yeah, I do. But none of them share my deep contempt for most of the people in the room.
CHARLIE
I always wondered why you kept me around.
LINDSAY
Did you think it was your looks?
CHARLIE
Ha..ha, ha. Funny.
She kisses his cheek
LINDSAY
Come on, I’m kidding. Now put that out, we’ve yet to speak to Mr. McGreevy
CONTINUED : dls Charlie’s looks suggests he isn’t looking forward to the conversation. He stubs his cig, finishes off his drink
CHARLIE
Yeah, thanks for reminding me. If you weren’t so damn pretty
(beat)
and kinky
(beat)
and--
LINDSAY
Rich?
CHARLIE
Well, I was going to say witty, but rich works
LINDSAY
Back inside?
CHARLIE
Lead the way
INT. CHARLIE’S OFFICE- LATE, NIGHT BEFORE THE FIRST DEBATE
Charlie and Joe look like they’ve been there a while Charlie eats TAKEOUT SUSHI
CHARLIE
I’m just saying, it’s the moderators you’ve got to worry about.
JOE
You're right.
CHARLIE
But you didn’t handle that case any differently than any other. Besides, he’s some dumb frat prick and that don’t elicit sympathy where I come from.
JOE
Lots of people’s kids are dumb frat pricks
CHARLIE
Lots of people’s kids don’t have four figure coke habits
JOE
Nope, they’re smart
CHARLIE
(nonchalantly)
They take their Adderall like a civilized person
JOE
God, I should say that
CHARLIE
Say that and we'll never step foot anywhere near Frankfort.
TEXT MESSAGE BEEP Joe looks over at Charlie, who is reading his phone
CHARLIE
Kim, going well in Morehead, Chris is winning over the crowd.
JOE
Kim's babysitting again?
CHARLIE
What? I needed Jake holding down the fort. Kim won’t let him do anything stupid.
JOE
Back in law school...
CHARLIE
Pecker in pants, Joey. We’re all clear on this.
JOE
I should’ve gone with Conner.
CHARLIE
He’s too old and he’s got too much baggage, we'll just make it through this campaign without Chris diddling anything he shouldn’t. Now
JOE
I know, debate, tomorrow, what’s next?
CONTINUED : 33).
CHARLIE
(looks down at his notes, flips pages)
Gay marriage.
JOE
Charlie--
CHARLIE
Gay marriage. Who’s it up to?
JOE
As a constitutional amendment, I’11 leave it to the voters. But I support Senate Bill--
CHARLIE
Don’t say that unless Fielder brings it up and bank on him not bringing it up.
JOE
Well I want to show--
CHARLIE
You've got the cities locked up, man, campaign from the center. You think you risk losing the gays?
Joe and Charlie exchange stares, Joe relents
JOE
What’s next?
CHARLIE
I don’t quite like your answer on education.
INT. THE DEBATE STAGE
Joe and Fielder at opposite podiums
JOE
...We need to insure our students are prepared, in all subjects, for college and the job market. However, simply teaching a test lets down not only our students, but everyone in the commonwealth
INTERCUT- THE DEBATE
INT. CHARLIE’S OFFICE- DEBATE NIGHT
Charlie, taking notes, has the debate on TV
CHARLIE
Nailed it, Joey
(scribbles notes)
Now let’s see if this prick goes easy on Fielder.
INT. DEBATE STAGE- MODERATOR
MODERATOR
Governor Fielder you’ve expressed a belief that prosecuting--
Charlie, visibly irritated, throws something at the TV
CHARLIE
Fucking throw him a whiffle ball why don’t you? Cocksucker--
INT. DEBATE STAGE
FIELDER
...and I believe that Mister, Commonwealth’s Attorney Lavassaney, well, my friends he’s using his office for his own gain and not, not for this place, this state...
CHARLIE
(scribbles notes)
Kill the senile old bastard Joe
JOE
...and it is my duty and responsibility to prosecute all felonies. His father’s political affiliations had nothing to do...
CHARLIE
That’s the way we shut ‘em up
FIELDER
...the same liberal, out of touch, out of step and corrupt arrogant good old boy...
CHARLIE
Road scandal Joey
(checks stopwatch)
Hit the road scandal
JOE
...with the irregularities in my opponent’s transportation cabinet...
MODERATOR
You will each be given closing statements of--
CHARLIE
(scanning notes)
Law and order record, transportation, push back hard on higher ed
FIELDER
...Kentucky values. Good night and God bless...
CHARLIE
Fuck you
JOE
_..the future of our Common-Wealth
CHARLIE
I think--
INT. RICK'S OFFICE- NEXT DAY
Rick is in shirtsleeves, JESS, late 20s, female, sits in the office, reading a LAPTOP
RICK
They fucking killed us. Why’d the old man volunteer for three of these?
JESS
Well it wasn’t like anybody up top tried to stop him.
RICK
His old golf buddies?
JESS
(reads laptop)
Oh, even "Red State Redneck" thinks we lost.
RICK
I expected the MSM fuckers to be in the tank, but that? I mean, that’s like losing Rush.
JESS
We still have talk radio in the area.
RICK
I need you to find something.
JESS
Right now the Lambert case is the best we've got.
RICK
That didn’t go anywhere last night
(collects his thoughts)
Nobody gets as far as him and stays that clean. No way in hell. Spitzer, Edwards...
JESS
(exasperated)
We have tried, and tried, and tried to find something on him and the best we could come up with was a decade old picture of him as Two-Face at a Halloween party
RICK
Well he’s running with Chris Hall for Christ’s sake
JESS
Who not only has to fuck around, we have to PROVE he’s fucking around.
Rick looks exasperated/angry, Jess shrugs
RICK
Charlie
JESS
Nicholson?
CONTINUED : Sis
RICK
There’s gotta be something
JESS
Rick, he’s wild, he plays hard, but he isn’t--
RICK
Clean
JESS
Stupid
RICK
No, I don’t care, some friend of his, some acquaintance, somebody from back when he worked for McGreevy.
JESS
We've looked.
RICK
Look harder, and focus on Charlie for right now. Joe would let some things slide with somebody that close to him.
JESS
Marching orders?
Rick nods, Jess gets up to exit, Rick stops her at the door
RICK
One more thing
JESS
Between us?
Rick nods
EXT. NIGHT
We see the end of a CIGAR, being lit by ZIPPO, the orange at
the end grows until it glows brightly
JAKE (0.S.)
We're a point away from statistically even
Reveals...
EXT. SUBURBAN PATIO- NIGHT
Charlie pulls the CIGAR from his mouth, exhaling a large plume and handing his ZIPPO to Joe Joe, Jake and Charlie all have DRINKS While Joe lights his CIGAR Charlie speaks
CHARLIE
Man, let’s not talk about the polls and just savor a little relaxation
JOE
(examines his cigar)
These good?
CHARLIE
They're expensive
JOE
Anne’s gonna be pissed about how I smell.
CHARLIE
Reservations, Friday night, La Deauville, real romantic
JOE
(ponders this, clearly the first he’s heard it)
French, romantic, good choice.
Jake begins to cough furiously
JAKE
God damn it, Charlie
CHARLIE
Have I told you before? You don’t inhale cigars, man. Jesus, take a drink.
JAKE
I think I’m going to turn green.
JOE
Deep breaths man, next time, just hold it in
CHARLIE
(lifts glass in toast)
To winning the battle, gentlemen
CONTINUED : 39%
JAKE
May we win the war
JOE
Amen
They toast, they drink
CHARLIE
Oh, little bit of shop talk you fellas'1l be glad to hear.
JAKE
Shoot
CHARLIE
I got us a celebrity endorsement.
JAKE
Ashley Judd?
JOE
Fuck Ashley Judd. I mean really is that the best we can--
CHARLIE
No, not Ashley Judd.
(looks at Joe)
She irritates me too
(beat)
Buddy Lee Fitch
JAKE
Buddy Lee Fitch?
JOE
Oh, god, the guys that sings that
(singsongy, in bad southern accent)
Stars and stripes over my small town. Amurrka, amurrka
CHARLIE
You ridicule your supporters like that? Your celebrity supporters?
JOE
I’m sorry, man. It is good.
JAKE
Ok, I missed something.
CHARLIE
Buddy Lee Fitch has hit the country charts with a bullet.
JOE
And he’s from Charlie’s hometown.
CHARLIE
He's a third cousin of one of my best friends back home, the second cousin of my first cousin’s high school boyfriend but, here’s the clincher, his grandmomma went to First Baptist with my Mamaw.
JAKE
And he sings?
JOE
This really dumb jingoistic song--
CHARLIE
Patriotic song
JOE
Patriotic song about small towns and farms and what else is it about, Charlie?
CHARLIE
I dunno, Jesus, Momma and Apple Pie.
(shrugs)
I prefer "Cryin’ to Jim, Jack and Jose"
JAKE
And this guy’s a Democrat?
CHARLIE
Surprised me too.
JOE
Voting habits die hard in this state, evidently.
CHARLIE
(lifting his glass)
To Buddy Lee Fitch
JAKE
Buddy Lee Fitch
JOE
God, I’m gonna have to listen to that song for the rest of the campaign.
EXT. COMMONWEALTH STADIUM PARKING LOT- SUNNY DAY
STAFFERS in MATCHING BLUE SHIRTS are huddled listening to Kim Charlie stands next to her, the only one who isn’t wearing one of the matching shirts, he shows his support more subtly with a CAMPAIGN BUTTON
KIM
When the teams break remember to stay in high traffic areas. Voter reg teams, just hand them a brochure, action teams with harder asks. Go Cats, go Joe.
CHARLIE
Amen, amen, quick question, any of y'all in the student section?
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY raises his hand
CHARLIE
Good to know, good to know
Charlie pulls a bag of stickers
CHARLIE
Close to the field?
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY
You bet
CHARLIE
Get one of these on everybody you can, especially everybody close to a camera.
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY
Oh yeah, media saturation
CHARLIE
Something like that
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY
Great strategy Mister Nicholson
CHARLIE
It was Kim’s idea
The other staffers have dispersed, the Enthusiastic Young Guy stands there looking dumb next to Kim and Charlie
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY
So you guys see Blue Commonwealth today? I was thinking--
KIM
Steven
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY
Yeah?
KIM
Hand out stickers
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY
Huh? Oh, yeah, stickers. I’m on it.
CHARLIE
Hold the clipboard over your head so they can see the sign, yell as loud as you can, keep on smiling, go cats, go Joe
ENTHUSIASTIC YOUNG GUY
(walking away, a little too pumped)
Go Cats! Go Joe!
He walks away, Charlie gets himself a cigarette, gives Kim a "what's his deal" look
KIM
He thinks this is glamorous
Before lighting the cigarette, Charlie pops an Ulcer Pill
CHARLIE
I think this makes my stomach hurt
KIM
Tell me about it
CUT ‘TO':
TAILGATE
PARTY
BUDDY LEE FITCH, a slick Nashville star in a BLUE COWBOY HAT is behind the grill. Joe and Anne stand next to him There is get next He takes hands it
a crowd of BIG DONORS milling close by, trying to to both the candidate and the country star
BUDDY LEE
(addressing the crowd)
Now I’m fixin to make some of my trademark Buddy brawts and I want the first Buddy brawt to go to our next Governor’s beautiful wife a BRATWURST puts it in a bun, puts MUSTARD on I<... to Anne, who smiles
ANNE
Thank you
She takes a bite, gives a thumbs up
BUDDY LEE
It’s the spicy mustard that makes it good.
Anne, somewhat disingenuously, shakes her head in agreement
JOE
Again, I’d like to thank Mister Fitch--
BUDDY LEE
Listen at that, our next Governor
(mispronouncing the last name)
Joe Lavassaney callin me ‘Mister,’ sir, Buddy Lee’1l do just fine
JOE
Well thank you Buddy Lee, and I’m proud to call you and everyone else here, a supporter. Let’s enjoy the party and cheer on my fine Alma Mater.
BUDDY LEE
(to the crowd)
Go cats! Go Joe!
Jake and Charlie have been at the back of the crowd
CHARLIE
(in Jake’s ear)
Get Anne somewhere where she can throw that thing away without looking ungrateful.
JAKE
Fun to watch her suffer through a "Buddy Brawt," though
CHARLIE
(through his teeth)
If she starts withholding sex you're answering to the boss
JAKE
(pulling out CELL)
I’m on it, fake important phone call.
Jake starts walking away, Charlie watches as Anne gets a call and excuses herself, Joe, now surrounded by laughing old big donor types, slaps Buddy Lee’s arm Lindsay enters, a little overdressed for a football game
LINDSAY
I love a good tailgate party
CHARLIE
Hey, hey, score that extra ticket?
She holds up a ticket
CHARLIE
I could kiss you
LINDSAY
You could do a lot more if you weren’t in public.
CHARLIE
Well I was thinking tonight...
LINDSAY
We'll see, down boy
She takes a LEMONADE bottle out of her purse
LINDSAY
Refreshments?
Charlie takes the bottle, takes a drink, makes a surprised face
CHARLIE
Libations
LINDSAY
A girl should never be unprepared. You know, I’ve seen a lot of you guy’s stickers around.
CHARLIE
We got a crack staff.
LINDSAY
Yeah, I heard them doing the cheer.
CHARLIE
It's lame, but it works
LINDSAY
Figured you’d have the radio station over here talking to your big country star
CHARLIE
Buzz Barker
Lindsay "what the fuck does that mean" stare
CHARLIE
Guy that does the pre-game, well he also has a show on AM radio.
LINDSAY
And that means?
CHARLIE
Honey, there are no Democrats on AM radio.
INT. RICK'S OFFICE- THAT NIGHT
Rick and Jess are watching Local News, Jess reading LAPTOP
TV
And CMA award winner Buddy Lee Fitch was there to cheer on the cats today--
RICK
God damn it, and Lavassaney sat right next to him.
JESS
That was because of Nicholson
RICK
All you've been able to dig up about Charlie is that he secured a ringing endorsement from a country singer?
JESS
He’s been seen a lot with Lindsay Moore, sat with her today even.
RICK
The last thing I need is rich girl gossip
JESS
There are actually some promising--
RICK
McGreevy, that’s where there’s substance, what'd he do for McGreevy?
JESS
He was too low on the totem pole to know about anything like that, just a face at the Capitol, really.
RICK
There's got to be something there, keep looking into it.
JESS
Ok, but unless I’m missing something really big...
RICK
...I’m going to the Lambert press conference on Monday.
JESS
It would appear so.
INT. COURTHOUSE- DAY
Joe is at the podium, prepping for a press conference with Jake, a few REPORTERS mill in the crowd, Charlie stands at the back of the crowd Rick enters, he and Charlie spot each other, Charlie goes to him
CHARLIE
Here to sling shit?
RICK
And watch it hit him
CHARLIE
It won’t.
RICK
Keep hoping, Charlie
CHARLIE
(grins)
What’s that cologne you got on? Desperation?
RICK
Stay cocky
CHARLIE
Sure will
Rick takes a seat among the reporters, Charlie eyeing him
CHARLIE
(abrupt but loud, as if he’s sneezing the word)
Joey
Joe looks up, finds Charlie, who nods towards Rick, Joe acknowledges AT THE PODIUM We’re now looking out at the crowd of reporters as Joe answers questions.
JOE
...and an emphasis on treatment, no different than any other drug crime I’ve prosecuted.
Rick pipes up from towards the back
RICK
But isn’t Mister Lambert different from other drug crimes you’ve prosecuted?
JOE
(slight grin)
No, not in the eyes of the law
RICK
(not backing down)
But as the son of an influential State Senator this could be seen as using the media...
JOE
Mister Daniel’s, contrary to what your boss might tell you, I don’t chose what gets media coverage.
Joe goes to signal another reporter
RICK
You're using this highly publicized case to gain support and undermine--
JOE
I'm prosecuting a felony brought to me by the Lexington Police Department, the fact that the young man’s father is an elected official may have gained added media scrutiny, and for that I sympathize with Mister Lambert and his family, but I treated him no differently than any other person accused of violating the law
RICK
But the highly public--
JOE
Those documents were matters of public record whether I’m representing the Commonwealth or not
(gestures at a female reporter in the crowd)
Leeann.
RICK
You’re running from--
JOE
Listen, Mister Daniels, I’m here to discuss this case, not our political differences and I believe
(MORE)
JOE (cont’d) Miss Thomas, with the Herald, would like to ask a question.
Rick looks sullen, his plan’s starting to backfire, he gets up
INT. COURTHOUSE- OUTSIDE THE PRESS CONFERENCE
Charlie stands at the door as Rick exits
CHARLIE
He quicker than you thought?
Rick’s look says "fuck you," Rick starts down the hall
CHARLIE
(yelling)
Points for persistence
Rick doesn’t look back
CHARLIE
Don't forget, debate Thursday
(quietly)
You dirty pool playing son of a bitch.
MONTAGE- CAMPAIGN TRAIL
Driving Bluegrass plays --Joe stands at a debate podium --Fielder stands at opposite podium --Charlie watches the debate on TV taking notes, surrounded by POP CANS --Joe makes forceful "Bill Clinton style" hand gesture --Fielder squints, makes "excuse me" face --Charlie, watching the debate, acts like he’s watching a boxing match and he’s pleased --Jake holds up newspaper "Lavassaney Gaining in Polls" --At a rally, Joe and Anne stand next to Buddy Lee, who's presenting him with an AMERICAN FLAG GUITAR CONTINUED : 5:0: --Kim, chewing a pen, as STAFFERS man phones, Charlie finishes a phone call, looks over at Kim, pops Ulcer pills --Joe, with Charlie right next to him, speaks to a group of FARMERS --Joe giving a speech at FACTORY to UNION GUYS --Charlie and Kim pass out FLYERS at a FOOTBALL GAME --HOITY FUNDRAISER Joe is stuck talking to BLUEHAIRED LADY, without her noticing gives an eye roll to Charlie
INT. CHARLIE’S OFFICE- NIGHT
Charlie and Joe sit across from each other, Kim pops her head in
KIM
Back, anything I need to know?
CHARLIE
Polls are stagnant, we’re either down a couple or tied
(beat)
Murray?
KIM
Went well, college kids are excited.
CHARLIE
Saturday?
KIM
You and me, Pride Rally
CHARLIE
(looks at Joe)
Man, it’s a shame you’ll have to be out of town, them gays know how to have a good time. I mean, drag show, full bar, free lube, crazy Catholic protest--
JOE
Charlie
CHARLIE
Yessir
JOE
Shut the fuck up
(turns to Kim)
Murray went well?
KIM
Pretty soon you’re gonna have to go out there
JOE
Looking forward to it.
KIM
Hey, I’ve done my part
CHARLIE
You have, so go home, have a glass of something, take tomorrow off
KIM
Thank you
JOE
You're a trooper
KIM
Can the trooper leave?
Charlie salutes, Joe waves, she leaves
CHARLIE
You better give her a damn good job when you get in office
JOE
No joke
Charlie clicks around on his laptop
CHARLIE
Bobby hasn’t posted anything today
JOE
That’s bad
(thinks)
and good
CHARLIE
You bet, Joey, now why don’t you go home and watch TV with your wife like a normal old person?
JOE
Fuck you, what’re you doing tonight?
CHARLIE
Well, right now it looks like I’m banging an heiress
Joe gets up and walks towards the door
JOE
It's better to be boyfriend than booty call, Charlie
CHARLIE
(without looking up)
Speak for yourself Cap.
EXT. LINDSAY'S PLACE-NIGHT
A guest house on the same palatial horse farm as before, Charlie lounging in HOT TUB on the porch of the guest house Lindsay lives in Lindsay enters, wrapped in a towel
CHARLIE
This is nice
(submerges his head, comes back up)
This I could get use to.
LINDSAY
You act like it’s something you’re well acquainted with.
CHARLIE
Do what now?
LINDSAY
Come on Charlie, the places you take me, the expensive bourbon, the suits.
CHARLIE
What about ‘em?
LINDSAY
You grew up around this didn’t you?
CONTINUED: 53,
CHARLIE
(laughs)
Baby, my people were barely above-ground-pool rich.
LINDSAY
Excuse me?
CHARLIE
Oh, we ate steak a few Sundays, but it was at Lonestar. In Frankfort.
LINDSAY
I just figured, way you act...
CHARLIE
I do two things honey, I get above my raisin’
LINDSAY
And?
CHARLIE
Act like I belong.
LINDSAY
(shrugs)
It works.
CHARLIE
Especially on horse trash.
LINDSAY
Hey.
CHARLIE
(grins, caught)
Oh, you know I didn’t mean you.
(beat)
But now McGreevy? Chris? They’re comin’ at me from all sides.
Lindsay smiles, half buying it She removes the towel, reveals bikini, Charlie’s eyes get big
CHARLIE
That is your "not in public" swimsuit?
LINDSAY
It makes my fat rolls bunch up and I look like--
CHARLIE
Fat rolls?
This "problem" wouldn’t be evident to Charlie
LINDSAY
(motions)
Here, and here, and, god--
CHARLIE
Baby
LINDSAY
What?
CHARLIE
Water’s warm.
RINGTONE Charlie’s phone
CHARLIE
God fucking damn it, it’s ten o'clock, what could possibly--
(to the heavens)
I got a girl and a hot tub, man.
Lindsay picks up the phone, examines it
LINDSAY
Who’s "trooper?"
Charlie hops out of the water
CHARLIE
Shit, that isn’t good.
LINDSAY
(answering)
Charlie’s phone.
(beat)
His personal secretary.
Charlie grabs the phone with a grimace, Lindsay smiles
CHARLIE
Kim, this better be damn important
(long beat)
Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch. Just...god damn it, wait for me.